Trying to get a job
The next morning, Kate woke up with the sound of her ringtone. Half asleep, she grabbed the phone and answered:
– …mmm, hi.
– Kate? Hi, sorry, it’s Mike. Did I wake you up?
– No, of course not. I was just sitting in bed, watching TV, said Kate, while actually thinking: “Who the hell calls at this hour in the morning?” Little did she know that it was almost noon.
– Oh, great. I was just checking to see if you received my text message.
– Your text…yes, of course, she says, but actually thinks: “What text is this guy talking about?”
– Good, great. Well, I’m just about to go in. So, wish me luck! I just hope it’s not a where-do-you-see-yourself-in-5-years-from-now type of interview. Guess we’ll talk later?
– Sure, sure, good luck!
Kate dropped her phone and turned on the other side of the bed. A couple of minutes later, she was fast asleep, not even remembering her talk with Mike.
In the meantime, Mike was still sitting in the lobby, waiting to be called in. Every time he went to an interview, he felt as if going to the doctor’s. You sit there, anxious, waiting for somebody to call you in. There are all sorts of people around you, and all you can think of is what diseases they have, if they are contagious, and hope they won’t get in ahead of you, since you already spent all morning waiting. In the meantime, you go through your speech over and over again, making sure you don’t forget any detail, and end up with your chest cut open when all you had was a minor infection, like in one of those House M.D. episodes.
– Michael Evans?
– You can go in now.
“The doctor is waiting for you”, thought Mike and smiled.
He got in with a big smile on his face, still remembering his little joke, and sat down. In front of all these people, he felt like a convict asking to be released on parole.
– So, why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself, Mike?
That’s how it all starts. With an apparently simple question. And then the madness begins. What makes you qualified for this position? How can your previous experience help you complete your tasks here at Tom, Jerry, Micky Mouse, Winnie the Pooh and Co.? What improvement can you bring to our company? Why haven’t you gotten involved in any extracurricular activities while you were in college? Would you be willing to work extra hours and sometimes on weekends as well (for a minimum wage salary)?
At some point, all the questions sounded to Mike like: If you have a chicken and two apples, how fast can you go to the moon and back?
– And, finally, Mike: Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?
After half an hour of listening to himself go on and on about just how great he was for the position, Mike felt as if he just gone out of surgery. He felt confused. The next day, he felt angry: “the questions were stupid and there was no way I could have given a good answer”. Two days later he was disappointed: “the questions were not that bad, I was just stupid for not knowing what to say”.
Three days later, he received an email telling him that they were sorry, but due to the fact there were so many good candidates, he didn’t get the job. But because he was such a good candidate, they’ll make sure to keep him posted, should any other position become available.
Mike felt relieved. At that point, he didn’t know what he wanted to do next. But there was one thing he knew for a fact: Tom, Jerry, Micky Mouse, Winnie the Pooh and Co. was definitely not the place where he could see himself working in 5 years from now.